Everyone says when you find your perfect match you will know.  That time stands still and the world stops.  No one ever told me about losing the one.  That the world goes dark and cold.  That the beating of your heart stops, that the millions of tears cried rip apart your skin, and that the memories flood through your mind, like waters of a river cresting over it’s muddy banks, spilling across the land.

So here I sit all alone.  Trying to piece together any signs that you were going to run.  Nothing is connecting.  My confusion keeps growing as I search for the clues that led me to watch you leave.

My happiness thrown away leaving only this depression, this hurt, this anger.  My heart broken and bleeding.  My eyes red and dry from the crying.  My arms lonely for the warmth of your skin.  My lips hungry for the kiss, they will never again receive.  My mind filled with constant thoughts of you and of us.  I can’t stop any of this and it doesn’t matter.  You have chosen to leave me and in the end I wouldn’t trade this pain for the world.

I may never have you again but all this misery lets me know you were once mine. That my feelings were real. That you were/are my one and I belonged/belong to you.  Maybe all those promises you whispered so sweetly in my ear were a lie from your lips but my words to you were the truth. I meant every single sound, thought, and promise.

Advertisements